Reasons why Werthers are better than sex

  1. When you suck a Werthers it won't suddenly give a different original taste.
  2. If you bite a Werthers it won't bite back or complain.
  3. If you try to unwrap a Werthers with your tongue it doesn't call you a pervert and make you sleep on the couch.
  4. Once a Werthers has been sucked that's it, it wont keep coming back for more.
  5. You won't spend hours on the internet looking for Werthers (as you've already found pictures and information on them on this site).
  6. If you get a craving for Werthers it's morally acceptable to buy them.
  7. You can watch programs with Werthers in when your parents are around.
  8. People won't laugh at you if you finish a Werthers in a couple of minutes.
  9. Floppy Werthers just don't exist, and even if they did, it wouldn't be a problem.
  10. A Werthers will never prematurely dissolve.
  11. You never have to fake it with a Werthers.
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